Poor Man has been in a bad mood lately. His younger brother, Richard (Poor Man, Richard, get it?) is the complete opposite of him. While Poor Man is dumb and unfortunate, Richard is all around perfect. He's smart, cool, handsome, robbing zebra free, and what bugs him the most, he's the founder of the Pancake Warehouse. As a kid, Poor Man didn't get treated very well. He had to do all the work and chores, even as a two year old. Imagine, a two year old plowing a 5 acre field, not pleasant. But, four years later, there came Richard, or as they call him, Rich. He got everything. He got no chores, all of his father's love, all of the friends good grades, a pair of shades for his birthday which he's been wearing ever since, and Poor Man's biased father even started paying for Richard's money with Poor Man's college fund. Though, Poor Man's college fund was only a few bucks to begin with, so he made Poor Man get a job to pay for Rich's allowance. And that's age 7.
Yep, because of Richard, Poor Man had a miserable childhood. And how that Rich is moving to Power Island, Poor Man has to put up with him for the rest of his life!
"And that's why I'm so upset!", complained Poor Man, "You got that?".
Poor Man looked down on the bed, to see Sharky and Elephant still sleeping. "Sharky, get out of my bucket of butter", mumbled Sharky in his sleep.
"I'm sowwy", muttered Elephant through his own dream.
"Well, good thing I have you guys to ruin the rest of my life", moaned Poor Man, "Now I have to greet that lover boy at the airport".
Poor Man stormed over to the airport and waited angrily. "Hey, dude!", shouted a guy, "What's your problem!".
"Life", replied Poor Man.
Poor Man had to wait 15 minutes. There weren't even chairs. But, finally, a stroke of light came through the door. "Could it be?", asked Poor Man.
Then he heard an angelic chior coming from the gate. "It's him".
But, it turned out to be a visiting glee club and some guy with a flashlight behind them. "Oh, thank goodness".
"Poor Man, what are you doing here? We're off at Gate E, not Gate C", said a voice behind him.
Poor Man looked back, and saw Richard, with a light shining behind him. "What's up dude, how you doing?".
"Yea yea, let me guide you to your home Rich", mumbled Poor Man.
"No thanks, we'll take a taxi", said Richard, "But thanks for the offer bro".
"You have no money, how are you...".
Just then a crowd of people surrounded Richard. "Wow, you're perfect. We must throw money at you for no good reason".
They threw their spare change at Rich and ran off. Poor Man, flabbegasted, stuttered, "You're a few cents short".
Richard then snapped his fingers and somebody threw a gold necklace at him. "How much do you think this is worth bro?".
"More than I'll ever make", said Poor Man, "Where's your family?".
"They're waiting outside, where's yours?".
"In the deepest spot of my imagination", replied Poor Man, "Let me see them. Rosemary had to grow in those last three months".
"Ok dude", said Richard, "Rose, can you come in here?".
So, Rosemary, now 14, came with her mother. "Wow Rosemary, you grew! Somebody hit a growth spurt!".
"Well, I guess being stranded in the amazon for a few days really helps the body", said Rosemary, "Glad to be back".
"Yep, and how's Tony? He didn't, well, right?".
"Don't worry, I broke up with him", said Rose, "You know someone's cheap when they give you a box for your one month mark".
"And, how are you Patricia?".
Patricia, Richard's wife and Rosemary's mother, is covered in mink coats and gold chains. "Good, good, Richard sweetie, I need another thousand dollars, there's a mall near by".
"Ok, so we're all here, have fun with that taxi and I'll see you home".
"C'mon uncle, can't you ride with us?".
"I'm sorry Rose, I got important things to do".
"Like what?", asked Rosemary.
"Glad you understand", replied Poor Man.
Rosemary gave Poor Man a look. Few mintues later, Poor Man is crammed with the taxi with Rosemary and Patricia. "Are we there yet?", asked Poor Man.
"Do you see a mansion?", replied Rosemary, "Oh goodie, we're here!".
The taxi parked and the family packed their things in the house. But, Kid was walking by, when he stopped and saw Rosemary. "Wow!", shouted Kid, "I have a strange feeling inside of me".
Poor Man heard it and ran towards Kid. "KID!".
"Oh no, you're not related to her are you?", moaned Kid.
"Yes I am, and you stay away from her or I'm going to give you a stern 'Don't you ever do that again'".
"Love to stay and chat, but there's a woman waiting to sweep me off my feet, being a year older than me it seems".
Kid than ran off and stopped at Rosemary. "Hello my peach dumpling, you look jaw dropping in the sunlight, would you like to come to my house so we can talk more. Or would you rather skip the words and go right into action if you know what I mean".
"No, I don't", said Rosemary.
"Video games, I got a collection", replied Kid.
"Um, dad! Where did you pack the keychain with that alarm?".
"Give it some thought", said Kid as we walked out, "Hooked and liner".
Poor Man groaned. "This is the start of a miserable time".
And he was right. It was no disappointment, it was exactly what he thought it was going to be. Poor Man has been compared to by his perfect brother, his friends started to hang out with Richard instead of him, and even his own father sent him a 4 page mail on how he should treat Richard.
"Keep your head below his, and when he reaches out his hand, kiss it. If he goes to your house, invite him in and give him your money, and remember, he is superior and you are a pathetic excuse of a human. Enjoy slave, love, you hating father", read Poor Man, "Groan. I can't take it anymore! I'm getting rid of this guy!".
Poor Man was guiding Richard to an empty lot in the bad side of town. Poor Man's plan is to make life so unperfect for Richard, that Richard will realize what not being perfect is like and move back home. "Ok Rich".
"Hit me dude".
"I really hate you", mumbled Poor Man, "You see, there are these nice zebras who like to snap and prounce around town all day! Now, they might be scared and snappy at first, but you just have to hug them and kiss them on the forehead".
"Simple enough, I love animals, they're so rad".
"I still really hate you", replied Poor Man, "But, I got to warn you. They don't like glasses, so let me take these".
Poro Man took Richard's sunglasses, so now Rich looks exactly like Poor Man. "Go get them tiger!".
Richard went to the streets to where the zebra gangsters were beating up a trash can. "Why are we doing this?", asked the chief.
"Clio says it looked at him funny!", replied Isaac, "Wait a minute, why are we doing this?".
They stopped and saw Richard. "Hey, Poor Man, what did we say about eye contact and... I suddenly feel wobbly inside".
The sun was at the right position, and a heavenly light flowed behind Richard. "What's up".
Richard hugged the stunned chief, and kissed him on the forehead, then smiled, causing all the other zebra gangsters to faint. "You know what, stay there".
The chief ran away, and came back with a bag of everything they stole. "Take all this, good bye, have a nice day Poor Man!", shouted the chief and Richard walked away with the bag, "We love you!".
Richard went to the lot with Poor Man. "You're right bro, they really are awesome!".
"What! No way!", shouted Poor Man as he ran outside the lot and stood right un front of the gangsters, with his head up high.
The chief stared at him, and said, "Give me your wallet".
Poor Man failed on this one, but luckily Poor Man had a Plan C, because Poor Man has his alphabets mixed up. Poor Man went to Richard's house with a big box and went inside his house. "Richard, I need you to babysit some kid!", shouted Poor Man, then he popped up the top and dumped out Kid.
"You know this is illegal right!", shouted Richard.
"So is blowing up a man's basement!", replied Poor Man, "So, I guess we're even".
"I didn't blow it up, I just made it explode", explained Kid, "There might be a difference somewhere and, where am I anyway?".
Just then he heard Rosemary shout, "Dad! The toast is soggy!".
"My god, I hate soggy toast too, we have something in common", said Kid.
"I hate soggy toast", said Poor Man.
"Stay out of this", replied Kid.
Richard came down and saw Poor Man. "Bro, what are you doing here? And you bought a little kid!".
"Hello sir, I got to mention, you did a good job with the child".
Poor Man then bopped Kid on the head. "You know, I took him from his parents forcefully, can you look after him?".
"Sure", answered Richard.
"Good Luck", mumbled Poor Man before he left.
He hid in the bush for a few hours. Finally, he heard the two screaming. "Oh yea! That rocks!", shouted Poor Man, "I better stop it before the damage is too serious".
Poor man came in to the room, only to find Richard and Kid sitting on the couch watching football. "GO GO GO!", shouted Kid, "YES! That guy got tackled real good!".
"Boy, Poor Man, where do you pick this guy up, he is a delight!", shouted Richard.
"From my house by a crate", replied Kid.
The two laughed. "Kid, you can date my daughter when you please, and come back next week".
"Oh yea, baseball season!", shouted Kid.
Then the two shouted, "PIZZA AND COKE! EVERY TIME, ALL THE TIME!".
The two then did a special handshake and left the house. "That didn't work? I GIVE UP!", cried Poor Man, "I'M ALL OUT OF ALPHABETS!?".
"Poor Man, dude, you ok?".
"NO I'M NOT!", shouted Poor Man, "I tried my hardest and I couldn't get rid of you! I'm pathetic!".
"No you aren't, and why are you trying to get rid of me, I thought we were family?".
"You ruined my family! Dad loves you better and treats me like trash! Because of your perfectly perfect perfection my childhood was ruined, and so's the rest of my life! I'm a loser, and you're flawless. I'm tired of people comparing you to me".
Poor man then curled into a ball and started crying. Rosemary came out of the kitchen door with a soggy sandwich, but saw Poor Man in a mental breakdown, and slowly backed away. Richard grabbed a tissue and wiped Poor Man's face. "Man, don't be right that. Nobody's perfect. We all have our flaws, that doesn't make us horrible, that makes us human. You and me. Flaws are a part of who we are, and because of them, it makes you one of a kind".
"You're being so nice to me, after what I said and done", replied Poor Man, "I'm sorry. I was a jerk, and that proves you're a better person than me. No wonder everyone likes you better".
"Hey, you know what. Every time you do something crazy, it's a new adventure", explained Richard, "And that's why I like you bro, you make my life interesting. It isn't interesting to have everything handed to you, you know you have a good life when you're waiting for a new surprise everyday, and for that I'm willing to say you have the best life anyone can have".
"Thanks, I love you bro".
"Same here Pro Man".
The two brothers hugged, then Rosemary came back out the kitchen. "Ok, sorry for breaking the bromance but who wants soggy sandwiches?".
"Oh yea!", the two brothers shouted as they took a bite, "SOGGY! SOGGY! SOGGY!".
The family cheered, ate, and laughed inside the house, and Kid watched from outside the window in tears. "That was the sweetest thing I've ever seen", cried Kid, "Don't look at me, I'm a mess!".
Rosemary saw Kid outside the window and shouted, "Hey, kid! Gonna join us or what?".
"SHE DOES LOVE ME!".
"What?", shouted Rosemary.
"Heh heh, nothing", muttered Kid, "SOGGY! SOGGY! SOGGY!".
Kid ran inside the house and the whole crowd had a family sandwich fest. Comes to show, the only thing perfect in life, is the thrill of having one, and whatever happens, family is family, no matter how thin the thread may be. He's not very smart, but that's why we love him.
"SOGGY! SOGGY! SOGGY!".