George Washington, George W. Bush, George W. Bush jr. (Seriously, that’s a lot of Georges), and now, Barack Obama. Yes, there have been many presidents of this fair nation, and who will be the next ruler of our wonderful land. I don’t know, but, the next best thing is being the school president. Let me explain something... Poor Man is not a smart man. I know what a surprise. But, I bet you didn’t know that he was still in high school, right? Wait, you did… who told you! Oh, you did? Never mind, anyway, Poor Man is starting to get higher, because his teachers are getting tired of him. So, when he heard that they were electing a school president, he was piqued.
“Oh, what do you know, they’re having the next school president”, noted Poor Man as he walked by, but then he screamed and ran the other way, Rabbit King chasing him.
“Wait, I need your help for you to waste your time for something I want but will get over 3,000 words later!”, called out Rabbit King as he chased him.
Eventually Rabbit King caught up to Poor Man and tackled him, saying, “I need you to run for school president”.
“Why?”, asked Poor Man.
“Well, I made a bet with Panda King and Snake King that I can beat them in an election, so we tried signing up”.
Flashback, Rabbit King, Panda King, and Snake King were lined up for the school president elections, when the man behind the desk said, “I’m sorry, you cannot run”.
“Why not?”, asked Panda King.
“Well, you’re too fat, the green guy is too nerdy, and the rabbit scares me”, replied the man.
“It’s a phase”, explained Panda King, “And he scares me too”.
“Look, you all can run as managers but you need to find a client”, explained the man, “Wait a minute, you don’t go here! SECURITY!”.
“Got to go!”, the three yelled as they ran.
Back to Poor Man, Poor Man said, “Ah, sounds like you’re in a pickle, but who are you going to get for a client?”.
“You’re kidding right”, said Rabbit King.
“Yes, I love pickle jokes”, replied Poor Man.
“Look, I’m taking you to the park”, demanded Rabbit King, “Remember, I’m better than you!”.
“Wait, but I got school, eh, who am I kidding, I already took my nap during Math”, said Poor Man, “I’m only missing the mild stuff like Language Arts or Science”.
So, it was the park. Apparently, Poor Man is Rabbit King’s client, Chicken is Snake King’s client, but Panda King was all alone. “Hey, who’s your client Panda King?”, asked Snake King.
“Oh, only the best in the business”, said Panda King, “Introducing, an angel from heaven, the ripe of the bunch, the one all clients have been searching for during all humanity but never found, allow me, with pride, to introduce…”.
So, Panda King stepped aside and he yelled, “ROCKY!”.
But, on a tree stump was standing a rock with artificial plastic eyes on it. “You see, a client all ready got him, but I was able to buy him for a couple thousand dollars, he didn’t have a business card but his fedora and coat was trustworthy”, explained Panda King, “Say one of you speeches Rocky”.
Rocky, being a rock, stood there. “Marvelous, classic, you are the dominant democrat!”, cheered Panda King, with everybody else staring awkwardly.
“Well, my client will beat all of your minerals”, said Snake King, “By the way, I’m talking about Rabbit King’s client”.
“What makes you think that moldy spaghetti!”, shouted Rabbit King.
Chicken then pulled out a laser. “Because I cheat”, replied Chicken, “Fire in your”.
“Ok tough guy, let’s save the enthusiasm till the election”, interrupted Snake King, “That was a close one”.
“Well, my client is uh”, said Rabbit King, thinking about how to describe Poor man, “More human that any of you, but that might be nitpicking”.
“Yea yea, but when’s the election anyway, we need to practice our campaigning”, explained Panda King, “Not that we need it or anything, because Rocky rocks”.
“It is in the 9th of, hcram?”, read Poor Man, but then Rabbit King turned the flyer the other way, and Poor Man continued, “Oh, March 6th, good, I’m booked of hcram 9th”.
“Ok, so people, let’s practice and let me and Chicken win”, said Snake King, “Now if you excuse us, we’re going to help our popularity by curing the common cold”.
It was a long wait, though here it only costs about 20 words. Everyone gathered around the stage, Rabbit King, Snake King, and Panda King awaiting their clients to go forth. Extra suspense is on Rabbit King, because Poor Man is first, and Poor Man’s action to help his popularity, well, it made him stands out, I’ll tell you that. So, Poor Man stood on stage, checked the mike, then boldly said, “
Anyone know where the restroom is, I had to use the bucket before I came up”.
Rabbit King then threw a pebble at him, singling him to get to the point. “Rabbit King, you seem a little upset, do you need to use the bucket?”.
Rabbit King motioned harder. “Wait, second thought, can you pass the bucket up here?”.
Rabbit King then stole a mike from the school news interviewer and shouted, “JUST SHOW THEM THE VIDEO YOU IDIOT!”, but when he saw everyone staring at him, he said, “Heh, vote for stupid”.
“Ok, so, I’m going to show you a video”, announced Poor Man, “How do I show you the video?”.
Rabbit King then stormed up stage, pushed Poor Man aside, and typed on the computer, turning on a movie screen. So, the screen showed a fallow field. Rabbit King is panicking, because he showed the wrong video!
Video: Poor man pulled out three seeds and planted them. “Hello, Poor Man cares for the environment, so to prove it he’s going to plant a maple tree”, explained Rabbit King.
“Oh, no, I traded them to some stranger in the woods for some magic beans, apparently maple trees are worth a fortune where he’s from”, said Poor Man.
“Poor Man, you just good hood”.
But before Rabbit King could finish, a giant bean sprout came out between them. “Ok, wow, we just made a giant plant, that’ll be good for the public, right?”.
“Hey, I asked for magic beans, not a magic bean sprout, stupid thing, take this environment!”, grumbled Poor Man as he kicked the bean sprout, which caused it to fall to the side, crushing Rabbit King.
“Don’t worry!”, called out Rabbit King, “I’m ok, just let me eat my way out!”.
“Now if you excuse me, there’s a big rare tree out my backyard I’m going to cut down, making more room for my cigars”, said Poor Man as he left with an ax, then he sang, “Oh, I say let it die, let it die, love the Lorax, let it shrivel up and die”.
So, the video ended, and an embarrassed Rabbit King grabbed Poor Man by the ear and dragged him off the stage. Next up was Snake King and Chicken. The two brains are sure to win the election, right? Well, at least they didn’t destroy the community, well; let’s see what they got to say before we assume anything. So, Chicken got up on stage, cleared his voice, and then he shouted, “VOTE FOR ME OR DIE! I GOT A LASER GUN!”.
The entire crowd cheered, except one person who just walked away from a tree and a bucket. Upset by his ‘rudeness’, Chicken grabbed his laser gun and shot him. The entire crowd then gasped. Snake King, needing Chicken to recover, grabbed a cue card.
“Chicken walks towards computer, chicken, hello, I will show you a video to show how good of a president I would be, Chicken turns on video”, read Chicken as he did the following, then the video turned on.
Snake King hid behind a tree, because Chicken showed the wrong video!
Video: “Chicken looks towards camera, hello, I am Chicken, and I got a cure for the common co… ld, now I will feed it to this poor patient over here, Chicken walks towards prisoner, scratch, patient”, read Chicken as he walked towards a man tied to a chair, then he stuffed the potion in his mouth, then a puff of smoke came, but instead of curing him, it turned the man into a condor, who came up and flew out of the window.
“Smile, Look at the satisfied customer, scratch citizen”, read Chicken, and then he smiled.
Then, the video ended, and Chicken awkwardly walked off stage. Next up is Panda King and, seriously, Rocky, you would think anyone with any IQ would change their client by now, well, could’ve been worse; it could’ve been Poor Man being the agent of a waffle. So, Panda King set Rocky on the podium. Rocky, being a rock, just stood there, and the crowd went wild. Either Rocky is a democrat miracle or he’s the best person to run so far. Either way, Rocky is a fan favorite. “Thank you, I don’t know how he does it, the fewer words the better I guessed”, gloated Panda King, “Rocky, you rock”.
So, the principle came up the stage extending a red carpet, and played a trumpet, then the Headmaster walked up, checked the mike, then boldly said, “Hello second rate people, I am the Headmaster of this school, it is number 78 out of my 5,000 organizations. So, I guess I’m here to, uh, excuse me, I don’t want to stand!”.
So, a student heeded his word and went in push-up position, which the head master then sat on him. “My name is Mr. Blueberry. I practically own half of Power Island. But, we’re not to talk about me, and usually I would tell my ninjas to get you for that, but I had a good night’s sleep. So, the results are in, and I’ll just check this paper.”.
Then he whistled, and then he another student opened the paper, read it, whispered it in Mr. Blueberry’s ear, then he said, “It’s a tie”.
“WHAT!”, yelled Rabbit King
“WHAT!”, yelled Snake King and Chicken.
“WHAT!”, yelled Panda King.
“I need to use the bucket again”, announced Poor Man.
“So, I guess we need a tie breaker, so, let’s do a joust, who ever doesn’t become a shish kabob wins”, explained Mr. Blueberry, “Get my three horses, one for the each of you!”.
“Uh, excuse me, sir, Rocky doesn’t like horses, or swords, can we do something less dangerous, like, I don’t know, tap dancing in a mine field”, begged Panda King in an angry manner, “It’s in his contract to not die”.
“Oh, it won’t be the candidates, it’ll be the agents!”.
“WHAT!”, yelled Rabbit King.
“Yea, don’t start it again, get on the horses”, commanded Mr. Blueberry.
“But, why us?”, asked Snake King, “The other guys have less to live for”.
“HEY!”, yelled Chicken.
“Thank you”, replied Poor Man with a bow.
“Because, since a beautiful face is a big factor in an election, they cannot be scathed, so the agents will kill each other, now, snap, snap, the blood won’t spill itself”, explained Mr. Blueberry, “And you will heed me, I’m more powerful than the U.S. president”.
So, Rabbit King and Snake King got on their horses, but when Panda King got on the horse, the horse couldn’t bear the weight and fell down. “Don’t worry, start without me, I’ll get this started, Rocky! I could use a little help! Rocky!? You ungrateful son of a boulder!”.
Rabbit King got on the horse with the blue uniform and got the blue, foam noodle? “What, I’m not going to spend my money on other people”, sassed Mr. Blueberry.
Snake King is on the horse with the red uniform and got the red foam noodle. “Get ready, get set, joust!”, yelled Mr. Blueberry’s assistant.
So, Rabbit King and Snake King charged at full speed towards each other, but then Poor Man realized something. They let a silly little competition get in the middle of their friendship. To, Poor Man, that was horrifying, seeing some of his best friends throw away what was the most important thing to them. He knew he had to do something, so without thinking, he jumped right in the middle of the two. The clash freaked out the horses, and the two horses lifted Poor Man and slammed him against the school so hard it broke apart some of the wall! As Rabbit King and Snake King fell to the ground, they realized their mistake. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING! GO FIGHT! YOU’RE THROWING AWAY YOUR DREAMS!”, shouted Mr. Blueberry, and Rabbit King and Snake King saw themselves in Mr. Blueberry’s shoes, so instead, they ran towards the injured Poor Man.
Mr. Blueberry, enraged that his entertainment got interrupted, ripped the tie of his suit and picked up a sword. Meanwhile, Rabbit King and Snake King were caught in panic, not knowing what to do. “I know!”, shouted Snake King before he ran, then came back with a rubber glove around his tail and two electric eels, and then he shouted, “CLEAR!”.
So, he shocked Poor Man, but it didn’t help. “Man, it didn’t work”, noted Snake King.
“No kidding”, said Rabbit King sarcastically, “Oh, did you know the sky was blue?”.
They tried everything, CPR, trumpets, flashlight, but nothing worked. Rabbit King even almost amounted to doing mouth to mouth. “There’s only one thing to do”, resulted Rabbit King, “Everybody, standing circle, gather around Poor Man”.
So, they connected hands, and then Rabbit King announced, “Maybe, if all the little boys and girls out there believed in Poor Man and imagination, it’ll revive him. We must give it our all, for Poor Man. Everybody, we care, we care, we care, we care!”.
Then, Snake King started chanting, then Panda King, then Chicken, and then Rocky, in sub titles, said we care, we care, we care! Soon, everybody was chanting we care. “For all of you, reading this, join the chant, for Poor Man, for everybody who has a dream. Join hands with the one next to you. Tell them, you care. Tell them, I care. Tell them, we care! Everybody, we care, care!”, shouted Rabbit King as everyone else was chanting. The whole town was chanting, we care, we care, we care!
But, it didn’t work. “Oh, well, that didn’t work, let’s dump him”, said Rabbit King nonchalantly. So, they picked up Poor Man, and threw him in the dumpster. But, the impact hurt. Then, they heard Poor Man groan.
“Poor Man is alive!”, rejoiced Rabbit King.
“Poor Man is alive!”, joined in Snake King.
“Poor Man is alive!”, shouted Panda King.
Poor Man is alive said Rocky in sub titles.
“Ew, am I in a dumpster! You threw me in a dumpster!”, shouted Poor Man, “I’m in a dumpster! Ew, is that, a waffle. Well, it’ll be a shame for it to go to waste”.
Then, Mr. Blueberry snuck up and he climbed on top of the dumpster, and drew his sword. “I care, that you stay there!”, shouted Mr. Bigs, “Because I always get my way! Always! Always! Always!”.
Then, like a child, Mr. Blueberry was jumping up and down, but fell in the dumpster, right on a bag of dog poop. “I always get my way, ew, I smell kibble!”.
So, Poor Man climbed up, and started walking inside the school. But, Mr. Blueberry still realized he has the power to choose a president. “I declare myself president! ME! I will rule over you all! Me, Ow!”.
A rock fell on his head, and Mr. Blueberry fell unconscious. The rock turned out to be Rocky. Then, in subtitles, Rocky said He’s not very smart is he?