The Zebra Gangsters have been robbing Poor Man since... well, that's for another episode. This episode, we will be discussing the zebra gangster's biggest (but accidental) heist yet.
It all started on a Tuesday. Poor Man just washed Sharky and Elephant and now they're hung outside on a disposable hamper to dry. "Boy this hurts! What are we toys!?", complained Sharky.
"Actually, we are", replied Elephant, "This hurts".
"At least you aren't hung by the tail!", replied Sharky, "Now if you excuse me, I'm going to cry".
But, little did they know that the zebra gangsters were watching from a window in the garage. "Boss, this is a sweet place, much better than that dusty street lot. But, let's steal that car and make room for a yoga mat", suggested Issac.
"Shut up", replied the chief, "We're going to steal those two stuffed animals".
"Why?", asked Doug, "While we're at it why don't we steal some masquera and lip bomb?".
"Look, it's Poor Man's. And if we steal it, he won't be happy", explained the cheif, "And, let's be honest, who likes seeing him unhappy?".
Everybody raised their hands, even Sharky outside, trying to reach the clothing pin. "THAT'S IT!", he cried, "I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!".
He managed to free himself. "Good, now you can get me down Sharky", said Elephant.
"Yep, I got me down, bye bye", said Sharky, but then the zebra gangsters came, so Sharky had to play dead.
"Boss, this is embarrasing, the neighbor is staring", complained Isaac
"Dude, it's Ratnik, he problably thinks we're Poor Man", replied the chief, "Now Bag them!".
"You got arms, use them", replied Doug.
"I'll use them to smack you if you don't cooperate!".
So, the chief put Sharky and Elephant in their custom made redskin bags, but not without Poor Man seeing them. "Hey! You leave them alone!".
He then picked up a baseball bat to defend them. The cheif charged at him, but he tripped and fell. Poor Man was right about to put the bat down to snatch the bag, but then the police showed up. "Good officers, they're trying to steal my toys", explained Poor Man, "I just realized how embarassing that quote was".
"But the baseball bat down, you're under arrest for breaking into a zebra's home and beating them with a little tyke's first beat them up bat", said the officer, "I swear I'm not drunk".
"WHAT!?", shouted Poor Man, "You don't...".
But then the cheif strung into action. "Why yes! He broke into my house when I came back from earning an honetst living, then he beat me down. I swear I couldn't make it anymore if you haven't came in".
"Hey! Look officer!", shouted Poor Man, "Are you going to listen to a zebra, or to me?".
He said the same thing behind bars. With Poor Man gone, the zebra gangster cheif grew a devilish smile. "Boys! Go steal everything in his home, I'm going to put these two toys in my trophy cabinet. CLIO! STEAL ME A TROPHY CABINET!".
Inside the bag, Sharky and Elephant looked at eachother with a frightened look. Meanwhile, Poor Man was being hold trial in a dark room. "YOU SIR ARE CLEARLY INSANE!", said the General, "I REMEMBER BEING HERE A WHILE WITH THAT CHICKEN SO I GOT A CUP OF COFFEE TO KEEP ME WAITING, TELL ME, WHAT'S YOUR CRIME SCUM!?".
"I did no crime, I'm innocent!", assured Poor Man.
"YES, AND I'M GENERAL!", replied the General, "WAIT, I AM GENERAL. NAME, JOB, AND EVERYTHING! I KNEW YOU WOULD BE QUIET, SO I GOT A WITNESS TO PROVE YOU DEAD WRONG SUCKER!".
Then Ratnik came in shouting, "You are a horrible person zebra gangster! You tried to beat Poor Man with a baseball bat!".
Then he grabbed Poor Man by the shoulder and started shaking him, "What's wrong with you!?".
"What's wrong with you?", replied Poor Man.
"RATNIK, DON'T TOUCH THE GUILTY. IT WILL RUB OFF ON YOU!".
"But, I'm not guilty!", pleaded Poor Man.
"So I can touch him now?", asked Ratnik.
Then, the General and Poor Man both replied, "NO!".
But, the only ones who has it worse than him is Sharky and Elephant, on the very top of Poor Man's dusty cabinet. The gangsters are hanging out in Poor Man's home, so Sharky and Elephant are free to do their business, and that's what Elephant did.
"Ugh! Elephant, why Here!? I didn't know we could even do that!", moaned Sharky.
"We can't", answered Elephant.
"Uhhh... never mind, we got to get off of this cabinet and break out, capture the zebra gangsters, and prove Poor Man innocent without being seen".
"Ok, what's the plan".
"We got to get off of this cabinet and...".
"Oh", muttered Elephant, "Great plan!".
"You first", said Sharky, then he pushed Elephant off of the cabinet, then when Sharky jumped he landed on Elephant's plushy structure.
"Not such a hard fall was it?", asked Sharky.
"Yes it was dumbell!", shouted Elephant, "Oh, did I insult you? I'm not sowwy!".
Sharky was left with a blank expression, then said, "Wow, the zebra gangsters are rubbing off on you aren't they?".
"What's it too ya?", asked Elephant, but then Sharky doubleslapped Elephant.
"Are you going to stop?", asked Sharky.
"Yes Sharky", said Elephant, "I'm sowwy".
"Ok, now we need to find a way out of the garage", plotted Sharky, "Do you see a passageway?".
"No, but I do see a door that says Exit", answered Elephant.
"No, they'll be expecting us", denied Sharky, "I know, we can dig through the tile floor to our freedom, but there's no shovels, you're going to have to do it with your bare hands".
"But, there's a shovel right over there", said Elephant.
"I know", replied Sharky, "Dig puppet".
So, it took a while but Elephant finally dug them out of the garage. "It's about time, I was starting to get groundsick", complained Sharky, but he then got even more upset to find that there was no one guarding the exit, "DANG IT!".
"How do you think I feel Sharky", moaned Elephant, sweating and crying on the ground, "I need water".
"Well, it isn't about you", replied Sharky, "Now we got to lure the zebra gangsters in a trap".
"Please tell me it doesn't involve digging?".
"Shush slave", snapped Sharky, "Now, you go get supplies while I take a nap".
Elephant then picked up Sharky and threw him across the fence. "Ok, jeez, what's his problem", mumbled Sharky.
"And when I was a kid, my father told me that mother never loved me, the next day, my mother said she never loved me, and it became a circle of hatred!", cried Poor Man, "Now, we're going to the double digits, when I was 10".
"SHUT UP!", shouted the General, "JUST PLEASE, SHUT UP! ALL YOUR NOISE WILL CAUSE NOISE COMPLAINTS!".
"I didn't hear you, would you like a bullhorn", mumbled Poor Man, "My god, I am turning into my father. TAKE THAT MOTHER!".
"I DIDN'T HEAR YOU, WOULD YOU LIKE A BULLHORN!?", shouted the General.
At the backyard, Sharky was yelling at his bullhorn. "C'MON! PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT!", shouted Sharky, "DO YOU WANT TO BE SHIPPED TO BOLLYWOOD!?".
"No! Anything but Bollywood! My penpal says it was horrible!", cried Elephant, "But why am I hauling this giant box around anyway? We're done with the trap!".
"And I thought you were dumb", commented Sharky, "You are".
Elephant then put the box down and started running on a giant hampster wheel. "Faster! Faster! I want to see some sweat and blood! And put the blood in a container, I like it to go!", ordered Sharky.
"Sharky, is it supposed to spark?", asked Elephant.
"We'll see", replied Sharky.
The plan was that the wheel was supposed to power up a power box that shares wi-fi with a magnet on a satelite they launched a long time ago (It's amazing what you find in a cereal box). It will attract all of the loose change the Zebra Gangsters stole and put in the closet to lift it up to outer space. That's kind of what happened. Instead, all of the electricity from the wheel shorted out the electric box and caused the satelite to go out of power and explode, and the debris is about to crash into the house and blow them to smitherenes. Uh oh.
"Sharky", said Elephant, "I don't think it was supposed to spark".
"Yea, guess what?".
"Poor Man might want to know that his one and only home is about to be blown up, so I'm going to go to him and warn him, you stay here. Ok?".
"Good", said Sharky, "Good bye Donkey Butt!".
So Sharky ran and ran and ran and ran all the way to the protection of the neighboring house. "Ha ha, I'm free!", cheered Sharky, but when he turned around, Elephant was there.
"Sharky, I"m sowwy", said Elephant, "What was I supposed to do again?".
Then the house blew up, with the other neighboring houses. "Oh, I hope nobody got hurt", said Elephant.
"Actually, I don't care", replied Sharky.
The Zebra Gangsters were alive, but not well. Instead of black and white, they were just black, and some of their heads had a little fire on it. "What happened?", asked the chief, "Clio! I told you, if you see an explosive, don't light it".
Clio just shrugged, then spit out his lighter to throw it away. The chief then noticed Sharky and Elephant, who layed as stuffed animals. "Maybe those little anitiques blew it up boss?", asked Doug.
"Doug", said the chief.
"I'm an idiot".
"Good boy, what did you think? They were Poor Man's guardian angels and they put up a satelite and tried to pick up the house but failed and destroyed the house with the falling debris, pht, idiot", said the chief, "But, these do bring us bad luck, we should burn it".
Elephant gave Sharky a subtle look of worry, but Sharky slightly nodded at him. "Mama", said Sharky, "Papa".
"Aw boss, it's one of those talking toys", said Issac.
"I need to go poo poo", said Sharky.
"You like it, you do it", ordered the chief.
"I reckon you got no power in this part of the rubble", said Sharky, "You rob people for you own insecurities you striped morons".
"Weird diolouge, this one goes first", ordered the chief.
"If dare touch me it's the last thing you'll ever do, I'm going to smack you right in your juicy, tender neck", threatened Sharky.
Doug looked at the chief. "Well, go and burn him".
Doug hesistantly picked up Sharky, but then Sharky bit him in the hand. "OWWWW! IT BIT ME!".
Sharky then started biting the rest. All ran away but the chief. The chief picked up a gun. "If I shoot this devil of a toy then the rest will be convinced it's all in their hollow heads, yes I will".
Sharky had to think fast, so he suddenly pounced on the chief and bit him in the most undesirable places. "OWWWWW! It's alive!", cried the chief as he pried Sharky off of him, "And it bit me in our captain's quarters!".
The cheif then ran away, with tooth marks on his butt. "Ew, what I do for the little life I have", said Sharky.
"Wow, you were so brave", commented Elephant.
"Yea, I am", bragged Sharky, "Poor Man is home! Die!".
"That's not nice and oh, I know what you mean", said Elephant.
"Ah, it was long and tiring, but I snuck out and walked all the way home. And what happened to my house!?", shouted Poor Man, "Zebra Gangsters. Add murder to my police record General!".
He then went to a surviving house and asked the owner if they had a big switch blade. They gave it to him, then he came screaming in the streets.