"MASTER!", shouted Darky, "I have CACulated a large suply OF magic around the POOR MAN neighborhood!".
"They must be planning something", said the Masked Shadow, "Very well, we will kill them immediately".
"MASTER!", shouted Darky, "I will NOT risk you, I SHALL GO!".
"No fool, you miserabley failed last time, but you do have a point", pondered the Masked Shadow, "Very well, you are demoted".
"Wait, what?", asked Darky.
"You are now classified as minion", said the Masked Shadow.
"But, MASTER!", shouted Darky, "I'M the ONLY ONE! Who's GOING TO BE your second in COMMAND? One of the CROWS!?".
The Masked Shadow then gave a sinister laugh an pulled a switch, and out from a chamber, rose a brand new creation. "He will be your supervisor in the mission", explained The Masked Shadow, "I'm counting on you two. The mission will not be disrupted".
Meanwhile, Poor Man was eating breakfast when Elephant went on top of the table. "Poor Man. Do you know why Sharky is ignoring me?".
"He either hates your guts or he's scared of every single fiber on your body ever since you pretty much tore him apart a few weeks ago", explained Poor Man, "But, hey, don't worry about it".
"You know what, I'm going to ask him myself", said Elephant, "There he is, hey Sharky!".
Sharky looked up at Elephant, then pretended like he didn't see him. "Sharky, are you scared of me?".
"What, no, I'm not scared of anything!", he denied, but when Elephant jumped down, Sharky shrieked.
"Why did you shriek Sharky?".
"Who says shriek, because I don't shriek thank you very much".
"If you don't shriek then how come you didn't shriek".
"I'm tough! I can rip you apart, see! Come at me!".
Elephant reached towards Sharky, but Sharky screamed and ran away. "SHARKY!", shouted Elephant, "YOU SHRIEKED AGAIN!".
Sharky then went out from under the rug. "Sharky, it's not like you didn't deserve it you were rude to everybody, you tried to get Poor Man to eat those nice zebras who live in our no car garage, and you threatened to put me inside a microwave".
"It wasn't me!", cried Sharky, "It was my evil clone, Darky, who was sent here by The Masked Shadow dude to influence Poor Man and to kill you, and I escaped to save you!".
"Yea, that story again", mumbled Elephant.
"Fine, I'll show you, come out through the doggy door", said Sharky, "You see that bird over there, it's evil and it's going to take us there".
"Sharky, I wouldn't...".
"HEY BIRD! LOOK, FREE TUNA, COME AND GET ME BIRDBRAIN!".
"Sharky, that's a condor!", shouted Elephant.
"And, oh...", said Sharky, "That'll explain the gold coating and the fact that's it's headed right towards....".
So, while Sharky got swiped by a giant bird, Poor Man was weighing in. "Hm, and, what! 182.6!", shouted Poor Man, "I just gained 6 pounds in one day! How is that even possible!".
Poor Man was wandering around the house having a mild freak attack. "I'm fat! Oh my god, look at me!".
Poor Man looked at himself in the mirror, but it looked much wider than usual. "That's it! I need to go to a place where I know I'll lose a few weight, and I think I know the place that can do this!".
Poor Man then drove over the arcade to play some Pac Thing, when suddenly, he noticed a brand new game opened called "The Dancing Game that will help you lose weight you fat dumb person who may or may not be called Poor Man. And if you fail you are an unfit loser. MWA HA HA HA HA HA!".
"It's my destiny", said Poor Man as he pulled out a quarter.
"See Sharky, the taxi works just fine!", said Elephant as they were climbing up the mountain.
"Yea, that GPS must be amazing if it picked up Big Creepy Cave", said Sharky, "Stop, we're here! And they might be expecting us".
"Creepy", said Elephant, "So quiet, it's like they're not there".
"I'll prove it!", shouted Sharky, "And I'll prove I'm not afraid of anything! Now, you go first!".
Elephant climbed on top. "I don't see anything, it's safe".
Sharky then hopped on top and walked in the cave. "I swear they were there, and look at that giant crystal on that ceiling, I used glass to reflect light and turn that into a laser to break out!".
"But where's the cage you told me about?", asked Elephant.
"Where that giant gaping hole is", said Sharky, "Yea, I might've left it cooking for too long".
Sharky then kicked down the piece of glass. "Look, there's evil here, and we as guardian angels must kick their dark colored butts!".
"Yea, how come they keep that tan, that's not right", replied Elephant, "And is it me or is that me?".
"No, that's just your shadow and MY GOD LOOK BEHIND YOU!".
"Sharky, we're angels, you can't say, OH MY GOD IT'S YOU!".
"YEA, it's ME!", shouted Darky, "I'm GOING TO eat YOU!".
"Yep, that's the same guy", said Elephant, "Well, here we go".
Elephant then punched Darky right in the face and knocked him out cold, leaving Sharky shocked. "Oh, and My Little Pony is a great show!".
Just then the lights came on in the cave, and Elephant's Dopper Ganger is revealed. He is a green elephant who's Elephant's height. He's wearing a half pair of glasses, standing on twos, and smoking a cigar. "So I meet my other me, how do you do?", he asked, "I'm Smellephant, and you did good defeating my insignificant minion, but now you have to deal with me, the one who will slay you".
Smellephant then pulled out a blade. "Right here right now".
"But, we're guardian angels mister, we can't die", said Elephant", And OH MY GOODNESS, WHAT IS GOING ON!".
Meanwhile, Poor Man is dancing away on the machine. "Great, another loss, there goes my thirtieth quarter", mumbled Poor Man, "I am healthy! I'll teach you! I'm not enjoying this!".
Just then Poor Man tripped and the game said, "Try again fatty".
"I will get you!", shouted Poor Man as he put another quarter inside the machine.
Back at the cave, Smellephant started laughing. "It's almost funny really, I was created by your genetics", he shouted, "Yet, I'm superior to you in every way possible!".
"There's one thing I have that you don't", replied Elephant, "The power of love!".
Smellephant stared at him and started laughing. "Ha! Well, I have a stone knife, I think I have the upper hand".
"You can't do anything to us!", shouted Sharky, "Keep in mind, you and Elephant are the same person, it's a battle that can't be won!".
"I'm not planning on doing anything to you", said Smellephant, "We're going to strike the area that is most valuable to you, and the only thing that can wipe you off existence. Darky, turn on the monitor!".
But Darky was still on the ground, unconscious. "Ok, let's give him a few minutes and then he shall turn on the monitor!".
Darky turned on the switch and a beam of light went down from the crystal, and in that beam of light was an image of Poor Man on the dance machine. "Exercise, you monster!", shouted Elephant.
"Yes, and he will dance to death!", shouted Smellephant, "And there's nothing you can do about it, you have failed, and we are victorious!".
Elephant then pounced Smellephant. "Go Elephant! Beat the turd up to a pulp!", shouted Sharky.
Darky then tapped Sharky on the back, and when he looked to see who it is, Darky punched Sharky in the face. "WE are the CHAMPIONS!", shouted Darky.
"But you're losing!", said Sharky.
"Dude, what does that even mean?", asked Sharky.
"It means your FACE!", shouted Darky as he pushed Sharky into a rock.
Smellephant tripped Elephant on the ground and then held a knife to his neck. "Hm, this is pointless, I'm not going to stain such delicate material if it won't even do anything to you, we will settle this like men".
"Cuss out and then watch football afterwards?", asked Elephant.
"No, an epic duel to the death. If you win then we will let Poor Man go, but if I win, you and your friend will die in this very cave".
Just then, from the beam of light, they heard Poor Man shouting, "BY GOD, IF I DANCE ANY MORE IT'LL KILL ME!".
"He's not wrong", commented Smellephant, "Tell me, what is it going to be, Elephant".
"Ok, but where is the weapons?", asked Elephant.
Smellephant then turned around to retrieve them but Elephant punched him in the back, and Sharky and Elephant ran for the hills. "Get those fools! The plan can not be distrupeted!", shouted Smellephant.
"YOU can't tell ME what TO DO!", shouted Darky.
Smellephant then pushed Darky down the cliff. "Oh I love hurting people", he said as he was climbing down.
"We have to get to the arcade before it's too late!", shouted Sharky, "Quick, hop on a crow!".
So the two hopped on a crow and flew away, with Darky and Smellephant hot on their trail. "Surrender your crows!".
"We can't give you a crow, but I'll give you a bird!", replied Sharky.
But before Sharky could do so, Elephant shouted, "LOOK OUT!".
Then the group noticed a bunch of military planes flying in their direction. "Curses, it's the Lave Pheonix Plane Show, I should've noted this earlier in the story", mumbled Sharky, "I got an idea, fly towards the engines!".
"Eh, why not?", said Elephant as he guided his crow.
"YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE ME!", shouted Smellephant.
"But SIR! THEY'RE leading us TO DANGER!".
"Just the way I like it", replied Smellephant, "Crows fly north east!".
"They're still following us!", shouted Elephant, "And oh my god, plane!".
They then narrowly avoided a military plane. "It's working!", said Sharky, "Come and get us handsome!".
"Don't mind if I do", said Smellephant, "This is the day, we will rise victorious!".
"Hee hee", giggled Darky, "They called me handsome".
The enemy crows then flew upwards. "Sharky, a plane!", shouted Elephant, "Wow, this would be pretty if we weren't in moral peril".
"Let's see, if the plane is y, and the distance is approximately 698.63 meters, then I dived distance by rate to get the timing and coordinates", mumbled Sharky.
"This is the day!", shouted Smellephant, "Fly right at them and don't slow down for anything!".
"Hurry Sharky!", cried Elephant.
"Factoring in their speed, we need to find the average of both rates to get the average time of...".
"Forget that, just move!", shouted Elephant as he jumped off his crow and took Sharky with him.
"Idiots, they just surrendered! We have won!", shouted Smellepahnt.
"Uh... don't get to COCKY STARfox", said Darky.
Smellephant then looked to see the plane flying right at them. "I hate being the bad guy", commented Smellephant.
"Ture THAT bro", replied Darky.
Then Sharky and Elephant, from a tree, saw the plane fly right by, with a few feathers falling in that place. "Talk about Devil's advocate", said Sharky, "Ugh, I smell metal".
"It's the arcade! I hope we're not too late!", shouted Elephant.
"Well, let's go!", shouted Sharky as he hopped down the tree.
The two ran and saw Poor Man playing Rat Man. "Poor Man, you're alive!", shouted Elephant.
"Yes, I decided I hate dancing, and check it out, high score!", cheered Poor Man.
"We got a story for you", said Shakry as the three walked out, "So, you know that evil clone that came into your house....".
As our heroes walked out, something was watching from the back corner of the arcade. Then, a shadow of a machine slipped somewhere else.