Behind every great man is an even greater man. Well, sometimes. Not often. Uh.. today we will talk about Rabbit King, and the one who raised him. Poor Man was at Rabbit King's house sitting in the couch. "Hey Rabbit King", said Poor Man.
"You said that already", replied Rabbit King.
"You said that already!", pointed out Poor Man, "Parrot".
He sighed. "Ok, I'll make you a cup of tea. And considering I never made anyone a cup of tea before it might take a while, don't go snooping".
"Oh I wouldn't dream of it", replied Poor Man, but as soon as he left, Poor Man opened a bunch of drawers and later found a box that said 'Rabbit King's Private Collection'. "COOL! I get to find out his darkest secrets. Is he a jewel thief in Borneo, is he a platypus egg collector? All of my questions are soon to be answered!".
"I heard something, what did you say?", asked Rabbit King from the kitchen.
"Oh, nothing, just yelling at myself", covered up Poor Man, "Poor Man, you're an idiot! You're family never loved you!".
"And remember it!!", shouted Rabbit King.
Poor Man opened the box and gasped. He saw a note and a bunch of pictures. "I'm coming!", said Rabbit King.
"Oh no! I need to know more!", shouted Poor Man, so he took the whole box and went home.
"You know, water is a healthier substitute", said Rabbit King, but when he looked up, Poor Man was gone, "I put a lemon in it. I even sliced it this time!".
Poor Man didn't have time for lemons, he had more important things to do. Looking at his best friend's private collections. "Wow, look at that, he looked like a complete geek at high school", laughed Poor Man, but the photo looked exactly like Rabbit King looked like now, "And oh my goodness. Rabbit King's first tooth! And, a letter, I'm going to read it, if I can".
Poor Man read the letter, and it said...
Dear, Rabbit King
I miss you. I'm sorry for all that happened between us. I knew I shouldn't have put you in the orphanage, I was just so upset. I just wish we can sort things out and become a family again, so my life can be complete again.
"Oh dear, I didn't know Rabbit King had father issues", said Poor Man, "I feel so sorry for them. I'm going to help them out, I'm going to ship his father over here so the two can work things out! But, where does he live anyway?".
So, he looked him up on the internet. "It says here he lives on the island in a small town around a fishing village. His wife died and all of his children moved away. He spent the next 30 years inside his small cottage alone, never talking to anyone and never leaving. Well, that's depressing, but, let's change that", said Poor Man to himself, "Mele! Chomper! I'll be out reuniting a family and changing a rabbit as I know it because I looked through his private collection!".
In the fishing village there was only one house. So, he assumed it was Rabbit King's father's home. He knocked on the door, only to find that the door was open. Used to how his friends work, he walked in uninvited, only to be whacked unconscious with a shovel......
A few hours later, Poor Man woke up tied to a couch. "Well, I'm held against my will, but at least I'm comfortable".
Then, an elderly rabbit came with the same shovel. The shovel appears to have a dent in it the shape of Poor Man's face. "Why do you trespass here, and why do you make me ruin my shovel with such an ugly design".
"Hey, hurtful. You need to at least learn manners", said Poor Man.
"You broke into my home!", he shouted.
"And you didn't offer me a nice cold drink", replied Poor Man, "Oh, and whacking me with a shovel didn't bring much justice either".
"Yep, you're Rabbit King's father all right", muttered Poor Man.
"Wait... you know Rabbit King?", he asked.
"Yea, I do. We're best friends, super close", explained Poor Man, "And you're his father. I'm here to reunite you two!".
"Oh, so he apologized?", asked his father.
"No, he never talked about you. In fact, since he hid your note I'm assuming he hates your bloody guts", explained Poor Man, "Say, do you have waffles in theses parts?".
"Well, I'm not talking to my disgrace of a son till he apologizes", stated the father.
"But, you wrote a note saying you're sorry and that you want to make things right".
"I did, and we talked, then we got into another fight", Rabbit Dad said, "Then we met up again, and we fought again. I'm not talking to him, and you can tell him that scum!".
"Ok, so I'm a messenger now?", asked Poor Man, "AWESOME!".
"YOU WHAT!?", shouted Rabbit King.
"I looked in your private collection and talked to your father, and he says he's not talking to you and you can tell him that scum", explained Poor Man.
"Ok, I'm going to go through this slowly ok", said Poor Man, "I looked in your private collection, you got that right?".
"Great! You started another problem! Why did you look scum!", shouted Rabbit King, "I'm not going to talk to him either, and tell him I"m not going to tell him anything!".
"What's this all about anyway? Seems to dramatic".
"Look, it doesn't matter what happened then, it matters what happened now", said Rabbit King, "And right now I'm not telling you!".
At Rabbit Dad's cottage, Poor Man relayed the message. "Well, tell him I don't care! The less I hear from him the better! Now go pigeon!".
"I'm tired", groaned Poor Man, "Haven't you heard of e-mail?".
So, you know the story from here. Poor Man went back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth, and over and over and over again. Soon, Poor Man, tired of walking across the island the whole time, thought of a plan to get them to communicate directly. "Hey, Rabbit Dad, you know what, he said he's sorry", lied Poor Man.
"He said that?".
"He said that, and if you want to hear it in person, go to the Taco Shop and have some quality time with your son tonight".
"But I got plans tonight".
"YOU'RE GOING TONIGHT!", yelled Poor Man.
"Ok, I guess I can catch a rerun", muttered Rabbit Dad, "Ah Mork and Mindy how I love you so".
So, Poor Man said the same thing to Rabbit King. "I don't care, I'm not speaking to that bag of dust".
"C'mon, he loves you", pushed Poor Man.
"I'm not speaking to him, no matter what you throw at me or what I can throw at him! Especially in the Taco Shop".
"What do you have against tacos?".
"Personal issue", answered Rabbit King, "I am not going!".
"I'll give you $5".
"$20!", shouted Poor Man, "Take it or leave it!".
"Uh, you know that you're losing yourself here right?".
Rabbit King then decided to take advantage of this. "$50"..
So, after paying him $678.83 and his original buck teeth, Rabbit King finally agreed to go to the Taco Shop. Rabbit Dad was waiting, and Poor Man sat Rabbit King on the chair across him. "Ok, now you two have fun alright".
"Fun, yea right".
"Yea right, that's the spirit", said Poor Man, "I'll be in my house watching VHS tapes".
So, Poor Man was watching a tape labeled 'The Worst Day of my Life' from Rabbit King's secret box. Yea, he still didn't return it. But he saw Rabbit Dad and Rabbit King at the same Taco shop in the tape. Poor Man watched in horror what happened next.
"So, son, I've been wanting to tell you something for a long time now".
"Where babies come from?", asked Rabbit King.
"Oh no, not yet", replied Rabbit Dad laughing, "And that's your mother's job. Anyway, I've been working in this here taco shop for a while now and well, I was wondering if you'd like to take over for me".
But, before Rabbit King could answer, the waitress came and said, "Ok, what would you like for lunch".
"We'll take a jalepeno taco and split it", said Rabbit Dad.
"No, we'll split a chicken enchilada! I hate tacoes, you know that".
"You never tried tacos, you're too stubborn to do it my way!".
"We're having the enchilada", said Rabbit King.
"We're having the taco!", replied Rabbit Dad.
Then the two jumped on each other and caught, then the tape ended.
"Wow, how did they get that on tape?", asked Poor Man "Wait a minute.... oh, dang it! I got to go!".
Poor Man raced to the Taco Shop, but when he got there it was too late. "Where are they?", asked Poor Man.
"In the kitchen!", cried the waitress, "Good thing I recognized them and came prepared".
Then she pulled out a helmet and wore it. So, Poor Man ran in the kitchen and found Rabbit King and Rabbit Dad dueling it out. Rabbit Dad then grabbed a whisk and knocked Rabbit King to the ground. "WHOA! STOP IT!".
But it was too late, Rabbit Dad, blinded by rage, grabbed Rabbit King and threw him into a giant pile of taco shells, which collapsed down on him. "What did you do!?", shouted Poor Man.
"I... I.... I", stuttered Rabbit Dad, reality crushing him, "I.. I didn't mean it".
He then started hitting himself with the whisk, but Poor Man rushed and took it away. "No! Take me away!", shouted Rabbit Dad, "I'm a monster".
Rabbit Dad then, with dismay, walked away. "Ok, that was awkward", said Poor Man, "Don't worry buddy! I'll find you, but it will take a while!".
Then he started eating the taco shells. "No waffle but this will do".
Rabbit King is ok, but he needed a day at the hospital for recovery. Poor Man then came in. "Hey buddy, heard you're getting better".
"Barely", said Rabbit King, "But it's ok, I never have to see him ever again!".
"Hey, that's no way to talk, no, I recommend ranting in spanish, it quite tickles the lips".
"Adios", replied Rabbit King.
"Hey, I'm not ugly!", shouted Poor Man, "Anyway, I'm here to leave my last delivery, here you go".
Poor Man then left a box on him. "OWWWW! I GOT A SPRAINED EVERYWHERE AROUND HERE!".
"Sorry, need any help?".
"Ok, I'll get you a nurse, bye bye", said Poor Man as he ran out.
Rabbit King, in pain, pushed the box off with his body, but hitting the ground caused the box to fall to pieces, and inside, was a plate of enchilada and a note that said ....
Sorry for the little incident, next time let's go to The Waffle Hut. Hope you enjoy it.
Rabbit King smiled and said, "Ah, it all worked out after all, looks like Poor Man isn't as dumb as I thought".
Then he heard a bunch of noises and a lady screaming. "Yea, I take back what I said", he said to himself.