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The Zebra Gangsters Return

5/13/2012

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    Rabbit King walked inside Poor Man's house, but there was something missing... Poor Man! He looked high, he looked low. He looked high again, and he looked low again. Soon, he got tired of looking like a bobble head, so he went up the stairs. He noticed that one door was faintly open, so he came in, and heard noises coming from the closet. When he opened it, he saw Poor Man in a big pile of valuables. "Close it, quick! They could be here any minute now!", warned Poor Man, "Hide the knives, protect your...".
    "Yea yea yea, they read the first Zebra Gangsters episode", said Rabbit King, "Now, why you making a fuzz now? You said they're in jail".
    "Yes, after I called the police on them, big mistake, zebras hold grudges and they're out of prison allready! And they're problably looking for blood and murder this time!", cried Poor Man, "Those hideous little man witches are prablably stopped to stomp over an innocent little orphan and her little dog!".
    "No, that's tomorrow said the man witch", said the angry zebra gangster chief, "Men, come here and take everything, but not before giving him a good beating, make him think twice about calling the authorities on us!".
    "Not so fast, Rabbit King is a skilled kung-fu fighter, he'll whoop all of your butts you little...", rambled Poor Man ready to call them what they really are, but when he looked, Rabbit King was absent and the window was open, "Uh... you know what, just beat me, we all know it's coming".
    "Hmph, you stupid dumbox", said the chief, "You call yourself a person?".
    "Well, you're barely a member of the horse family yourself!", replied Poor Man.
    "What did you say?", asked the chief.
    'Uh, nothing, I said nothing", said Poor Man.
    "No, he said you're barely a member of the horse family yourself to you sir", said Isaac.
    "How dare you man!", shouted the chief when he smacked Isaac to the ground. 
    "But Poor Man said it first".
    "Shut up", said Poor Man.
    "Now he said shut up boss", said Isaac.
    "Well, you've been coming into our dark side!", noted the cheif, "We would beat you now, but we don't have any knives with us right now! So, we'll be back, with our newly constructed ulitmate torment machine!".
    So, Clio then spit out a ball, which he slammed to the ground, covering the whole room with smoke. Poor Man opened the window for the smoke to clear away, and the room was empty, absent of any zebras, any gangsters, or stuff. "Oh Spoiled Turnips, I'm completely vulnerable, you know what I need, I need a bodyguard!".
Bum, bum bum! 
    Poor Man was looking for a bodyguard, but only one person applied, and it was unhuman. Poor Man didn't look up from his clipboard, saying, "Ok, name and gender".
    "Ratnik Gutton", he said, "Undetermined".
    Poor Man then put his clipboard down in fear. "You!", shouted Poor Man, "Get out of here!".
    "I love you", replied Ratnik
    "Out of here devil!", shouted Poor Man, then he grabbed a broom and sweeped Ratnik out of his house, "Man, I need a bodyguard just to protect me from him".
    But, Poor Man is now out of canidites, so he went out to the streets, from the back window becuase Ratnik is waiting for Poor Man outside of the front door. Ratnik, still waiting said, "You can't hide from me forever Poor Man, I will lick your guenie pig, and your little dog too! I will!".
    So, Poor Man roamed through the streets, on the lamb. No, I didn't misspell it, he litterally rode a lamb throughout the city. Poor Man, got off and said, "Thanks for the ride Steven".
    "Wha-a-a-a-a-at?", stuttered Steven the sheep, "No ti-i-i-i-i-i-i-p?".
    "Yes, no tip", replied Poor Man, "Bye bye now".
    "Ma-a-a-a-an, I should've got that job as an irish chef", mumbled Steven, "Maybe they would've added lamb on the menu and my misery would be over".
    "Well, I'm on my way to the country of Turkenisten", said Poor Man, "To live with the turkeys and my brother Stan. Away from the evil of the zebra gangsters".
    So, Poor Man sat on the bus stop, not knowing that a bus can't go through the ocean. Then, a mysterious figure sat beside him. "Who are you strange man?", asked Poor Man.
    "I am Ronald, the best bodyguard on the island", said Ronald.
    "Well, no need to brag", replied Poor Man.
    "No, really, that's my name. Ronald, the best bodyguard on the island", explained Ronald, "So, I guess I had to be the best bodyguard on the island. You look like you're in a predictament".
    "Yes, I need a bodyguard", said Poor Man, "Ronald the best bodyguard on the island, you know any bodyguards?".
    "What if I be your bodyguard?", asked Ronald.
    "Sure, why not? Let me take you home", said Poor Man, "You don't mind sleeping on a newspaper do you?".
    As Poor Man and Ronald walked away, the zebra gangster chief was looking at them from behind a newspaper. "Can't hide forever Poor Man", he said, "Can't hide forever".
    Poor Man was about to walk home, but he decided to show Ronald the waffle hut. "Ah, this is my favorite restraunt. The Waffle Hut, now, you must get to know this area well, because I go here twice a day".
    "But, don't you run out of money?", asked Ronald.
    "Nea, the robot chef is nice, he never gives me a check. In fact, he gives me a bunch of stones, bricks, and cooking utensils. That's nice of him", explained Poor Man, "Now, let's go in".
    So, when they walked in, it's the usual gag, he orders a stack of waffles, Rover makes a rampage, Poor Man eats his waffles, and the two walk out, and Ronald is left with a face that says "What just happened?".
    "So, maybe we should just go to your place, and lock the doors, you never know when people are going to break in".
    "Yea, I know", replied Poor Man, "The Zebra Gangsters could be done with their ultimate torture any moment now, man what could it be?".
    "Ok, citizent, relax", said Ronald, "I am highly trained".
    Then, Ronald pulled out a gun from his coat. "Nobody touches you but me".
    "Dude, you really need to think about what you say, people are staring", whispered Poor Man.
    Then, from the corner of his eye, Ronald spotted Chicken, with a huge laser gun. "My turnip plan might've backfired, rather painfully", said Chicken, "But, if I destroy Poor Man, my chances of losing will, well, I don't know but I love destroying people, it's my second hobby".
    Ronald, without thinking, took Poor Man and carried him away. "Wow, I even get free transportation, that's nice", said Poor Man, "And I don't even have to pay a dime".
    Chicken then whistled for a chicken bot to come and carry him. "C'mon! Fowards!", he shouted, "Mush!".
    The chicken bot chased after them at full speed. But, Ronald picked up his gun, and threw it away? "Uh, don't you need that to, I don't know, shoot that?", asked Poor Man.
    "I got a plan!", shouted Ronald.
    "Me too, shoot the guy!", replied Poor Man.
    Ronald then ran into a dump, and hid around a giant magnet, and the magnet pulled the chicken bot towards it. Chicken would jump off, but it's too high for him to get down safely. "Curse you magnetism!", shouted Chicken, "Curse you!".
    "Wow, that was so awesome! You're more awesome than Rabbit King!", shouted Poor Man, "Will you carry me home?".
    Ronald then cradled Poor Man as they walked home, but from the dump, Rabbit King popped out, obviously looking for scrap objects to sell on the internet, who was hurt. "Man, I just got replaced", said Rabbit King to himself, "I know! I'll prove I'm better!".
    Rabbit King then pulled off the switch, turning off the magnet that kept Chicken up. Chicken then fell on the remainds of the chicken bot. "OW!", shouted Chicken, "You couldn't provide a pillow for the trip?".
    So, Poor Man walked home. "Ok, first of all, we need to be in a room, alone", said Ronald.
    "Wow man, we're just business partners now", said Poor Man.
    "No, we need to fill out some unfinished business", explained Ronald.
    "Whew", said Poor Man, "But first, I got to use the little Poor Man's room".
    So, Ronald waited outside of Poor Man's bedroom as Poor Man played with his toys. "Dinosaur powers, take over Mars!", he heard Poor Man shout, "Oh no, the evil caculator is trying to educate us. Use the united powers of waffle and butter to destroy him!".
    Ronald then heard a loud boom, and smoke came out of the room. "Oh yea, the money was so worth it!".
    "Remember, I need you alive!", Ronald shouted out.
    Meanwhile, Rabbit King, determined to prove he's the better hero, hid in a trash can, waiting for Chicken to come and give him the cue. The two are going to pretend to fight for Poor Man's life. But, Rabbit King knows Chicken is going to betray him and do it for real, so he has a secret weapon for him. But, he got distracted by the Zebra Gangster, hauling up a bag. Rabbit King was curious, and decided to start his showing off early. Finally, Ronald and Poor Man are in a locked room. "So, where do we start?".
    "The same place we finished", said Ronald, then he threw all of his weapons on the ground.
    "Hey! Do you know who has to clean that up now?", asked Poor Man, "Mele and Chomper, and they're quite the little grumps".
    Then, the chief popped out from the window and took a gun from the weapon's pile. "He's here! Get him Ronald!".
    But, Ronald also pulled out a gun and aimed it at Poor Man. "Oh no, by him, I mean the zebra, not me".
    Then, from out of the bag came Chicken. "Suprise! Give us all of your money!".
    "Chicken! I always never knew it was you!", shouted Poor Man, "Why are you working for the zebra gangster chief? And Ronald, why are you still pointing that shooting thing at me?".
    Just then Ronald pulled out a zipper from his forehead. ZZZZIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPP Poor Man found the suprise of his life! Ronald was all of the other zebra gangsters in disguise! "Wow, I didn't see that coming!", shouted Poor Man.
    "Now, give us all of your money, every single thing you own!", ordered the chief, "Or Chicken will blow this place sky high!".
    "You see, for 50% of everything, I help the guys by hooking the entire home with nuclear bombs that has the potential to blow up a quarter of the Earth!", explained Chicken, "Last night they tried to rob my lair! But, they ran into my security trap! Then, they told me they know you, Poor Man. I thought this was my chance to destroy you! So, I gave them a costume and a plan. The plan is that the minor guys will get close to you as your bodyguard, while the chief and I will hook up the bombs. I then tried to destroy Poor Man in the streets, but purposely failed so his suspicion of me will be down, and we all attack you in this one place!".
    "Oh, I'm sorry, I lost you at 50%", said Poor Man, "I trained myself to zone out once math is involved".
    "Well, give us your stuff!", ordered Chicken, "Or you're one house will become a million".
    "Oooh, a million houses?".
    "I'm going to blow it up you idiot!".
    "Oh", muttered Poor Man, "Ok...".
    "Good", said the chief.
    'Great", said Chicken, "I betrayed all of you! The bombs are going to blow up anyway! I just wanted ot destroy Poor Man! And now I put glue in the locks and this house will blow up in 30 seconds with you in it!".    
    "Yea, one problem with your betrayal", explained the cheif, "You're inside the house".
    "Yes, so I can watch you die!", shouted Chicken.
    The Zebra Gangsters smacked his head on his palm. "You know you're going to get blown up too right?".
    "Yes I... wait", said Chicken, "I didn't think this through. HELP!".
    "We're going to get blown up in 2 seconds!", cried Poor Man.
    3,2,1. Nothing. Still nothing. Still nothing. Nothing happened. Rabbit King then popped from the window and said, "Yea, you're safe, while you were talking I took the bombs elsewhere!".
    "Where?", asked Poor Man.
    Meanwhile, Rover is headed to work from his coffee break, when he saw his working place is nothing but rubble. "The Waffle Hut blew up!", shouted Rover, "Yes! I get a vacation!".
    So, Rabbit King took Chicken to jail, but the zebra gangsters got away. "I will return!", shouted Chicken, "I will! I get my own story next week!".
    After thant, Poor Man and Rabbit King relaxed on the park. "So yea, you're the best hero again", said Poor Man.
    "I know, I know", said Rabbit King, "But, we never saw that ultimate torture machine".
    Just then a paper airplane flew at Poor Man. So, Poor Man opened it up, and it said, "Poor Man, go to the Waffle Hut for a suprise of your life. Hate, The Zebra Gangsters". 
    "Ok, I love suprises", said Poor Man.
    "Oh, no you don't", shouted Rabbit King, "Let me take you out for ice cream instead".
    So, the two walked away, and the chief, from behind a bush,


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