Who would've ever thought zebras could be such menacing creatures. Well, Poor Man didn't before he met the Zebra Gangsters. But... how did they meet? Well, I won't tell you, that's for another story. This one is about how the zebra gangsters tried something new, and that might tear apart their balance that makes them unstoppable.
Poor Man was relaxing in his chair, as he counted "Five, four, something, three, one".
Then the Zebra Gangsters started snapping and, the chief said his catchphrase with Poor Man in unison, "Give me your money, I'm cool, I'm bad, and are you copying me!?".
"No, I'm just copying you", replied Poor man sarcastically, "I'm just used to the same grill, that's all, nothing personal".
"Oh no mister! We're gonna rob you and you're going to be miserable about it!", shouted the chief, "Boys, start breaking random stuff!".
"Look, don't you guys start getting tired of the same old thing, I do some of my crazy antiques, you snap and somehow get in, you're cool and you're bad, and you take everything I own, and it repeats the next day!", explained Poor Man, "I'm used to it, and maybe it's best for you guys to start robbing other people".
"Are you breaking up with us!?", demanded the chief.
"No, we just need a break ok guys, it's totally personal, now, if you don't mind me saying, get out of my house or I'm calling the cops".
The chief then, in tears, shouted, "Fine! Be that way! We don't like robbing you anyway! Don't come to us when you miss being robbed! Come boys, let's go to someone who doesn't appreciate our impatiences!".
So, the zebra gangsters left, leaving Poor Man with a blank expression. "Um, ok?", mumbled Poor Man as he continued watching his programs, "Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Oh boy, do I hate this show!".
So, the zebra gangsters walked down the street, alone, no one to rob. "Boss, we can rob that chinese restaurant over there".
"No, what's the point?", moaned the chief.
"Well, it's a chinese restaurant. They have chinese food, and maybe chinese money".
"No, nothing seems fun without Poor Man to rob", mumbled the chief, "We need to do something completely fresh. We need a new scheme, a new gimmick. No more of that snapping and the 'we're cool, we're bad' stuff, we need a new strategy for once, a new target, a new prize, a new plan, we need a new us".
"So, you're going to replace us with robots boss?", asked Doug.
"No, we need to rob something we haven't robbed before".
"Like the police station!", exclaimed Isaac.
"No!", shouted the chief, "Hey, what about that?".
The chief pointed to an opera behind them. "Um, you're going to rob us?", asked Isaac.
"NO! I'M TALKING ABOUT THE DANG OPERA BEHIND YOU IDIOTS YOU IDIOTS!", shouted the chief, "God! Calm down, ok, so, yea, here's the plan. We pretend to be a part of the show. We rehearse, we train, like everybody else. But when it's time for the big show, we grab a giant vacuum cleaner and suck out all of the rick and snooty stuff the audience has, then we steal all the money the show earned and make a break for it. Then, we go for Poor Man again!", explained the chief.
"Where do we find a giant vacuum cleaner?", asked Isaac.
"That's not important", shrugged the chief.
"But, it kind of is, without it then how are we going to...".
"Look, what's important is to try something new with ourselves, and as long as we're black and white, and we're gangsters too!".
"WE'RE THE ZEBRA GANGSTERS AND WE'RE GOING TO ROB YOU!", chanted the team, "Bum bum bum bum ba ba ba ba, daaaaaaaa, YEA!".
"Let's go in there and dance around like sissies!", shouted the chief, then the whole gang ran in, leaving everyone in town speechless with what they just saw.
Ratink was auditioning for his part in the opera, singing, "Oh I touch the sock and I drink the milk, I roll around the carpet and I look at silk, I look in the window, and I see a widow, then I put him on a plate and mash him with a stake".
The director looked up from his audition paper, grabbed a red marker, and violently crossed Ratnik's name with it, "We'll let you know".
"Wait, you only heard page one of the song!", announced Ratnik, "Ooooohhhhhh".
Then a giant cane came in and dragged him away. "Ok, next up is, The Zebra Gangsters?".
The Zebra Gangsters then popped up on stage all sweaty. "Boss, we forgot to plan our audition", whispered Isaac.
"I know we forgot, why do you thing I'm sweating, I didn't even know we could sweat!".
"Pht, you guys are zebras, I doubt you can do anything in the show besides eat our props and poop on the floor, heh!", teased the director, "So, you gonna perform or what?".
"Give us a moment please", begged the chief.
"Ok, I'll give you time, you must have fleas to pick", laughed the director, "I'll give you a sample of the script if you need it, but don't eat it! Wah ha!".
The chief's face was starting to glow red. "Oh, looks like the little zebra is now black, white, and red", mocked the director, "What are you going to do to me? Nibble on my knee? Did I mention zebras are stupid!?".
That was all the chief could take. "THAT'S IT BOYS!", exploded the chief, "Get him!".
The Zebra Gangsters leaped off stage and surrounded the director and started snapping. "CHANT!", ordered the chief.
Then they all sang "We're black and white, but we're going to make you black and blue. We're the Zebra Gangsters, and we're going to hurt you!".
"Boom boom boom boom, punch punch kick bam, yea", sang Doug.
Then, they were about to beat the director, when he cheered. "Wow, that was a masterpiece, the best audition so far!", he cheered, "I'm sorry, I underestimated you. You guys, are geniuses".
He then came up to all of them and kissed each one on the cheek. "If you still will, can I give you the lead role?".
"Well, ok, but triple the salary", ordered the chief.
"And pre-pay us!".
"Oh, you insulted us", said the chief, "You might have to quadruple it now".
"Ok, ok fine! I guess the audience doesn't need chairs anyway, we got a deal".
So, the chief and the director shook on it. The next day, it's the first rehearsal! The chief read his lines, and Clio ate his script. The chief then said, "Ok, so let's rehearse our scene, via script".
"Ok, the mayor walks in town and stops to see the Phantom holding the damsel", read Isaac, "Mayor, no let go of her, you are a bad person, Mayor steps back, Oh, who is here to help, because it's not like I have any position of power or anything".
Doug was wearing a dark coat and a top hat, "Phantom, Mwa ha ha ha ha, I am evil, and I will now take the damsel as my slave for all eternity".
Clio was now in a pink, fluffy dress with a blonde wig. "Ah, ble ba la poo yu ru ta min tu flop!".
Then, the chief leaps up from the trap door. "Smoke rises up, I am the Baren, surrender the damsel, pulls out sword, or feel my wrath!".
"Well, when you say it like that ok, here you go", said Doug, "Gives damsel to Baren. Good day now, I am evil, oooh".
"Ble bloo blah blah ble bloo boo ba beep!", exclaimed Clio.
"Er, thank you vocabulary troubled damsel, another day is saved, but I am needed elsewhere!", stated the chief, "And scene".
The zebra gangsters finished their act, and the entire building cheered. "What are you clapping about!?", exclaimed the chief, "What do we look like to you, Johnny Depp?".
"We're clapping because you're brilliant, you're acting skills are glorious, I see a bright future for you horses", cheered the director, "This is going to be a great show thanks to them, Gloria, get the wine!".
An intern came and poured wine into everybody's glasses. "Toast! To the zebra gangsters, saving our shows and stealing our hearts".
They clashed glasses and sipped their wine, and the chief, for the first time in a while, grew a smile on his face.
They rehearsed and they practiced, months passed, and soon, the day has finally come. The opera is about to premiere! Out of everybody, no one felt as passionate as the chief. The rest of the gang met up with him backstage. "Hey, boss! The vacuum is set, want to start the suction now or later?".
"Never", said the chief.
"But, if we don't do it then all that time would be a waste wouldn't it?".
"I realized something, it isn't the same robbing that got me down, it's me being tired of being a robber!", explained the chief, "I thought it through, and, I decided I want to start making an honest living for myself, so people can respect me for who I am, not because I'm holding a gun at them".
"But, chief! We need you, please, don't' dance around like the other sissies".
The chief then muttered, "Sorry guys, I better get ready. Clio, you're now in charge".
But then he saw Clio trying to bite his own butt. "Doug, you're in charge".
But, at the audience, Poor Man heard the zebra gangsters were starring in the opera, and he knew they were up to something, and he decided this is his chance to prove their wrong doings to the police. So, he grabbed a wheelbarrow of his emergency money and bought it right in the middle of the front row, where everybody can see it. He also wore 3 gold rings and put his wallet right in plain sight. "Oh, boy, what am I going to do with all this money! It would be nice if someone helped me carry it back!", shouted Poor Man.
The guy sitting next to him reached out, but Poor Man smacked his hand. The show started, and the chief, in costume, got up on stage, and the limelight pointed at him. The chief then sang a tragic song, but in the corner of his eye, he saw Poor Man with all these riches. He ignored them with slight regret and continued his scene. Poor Man knew that the chief was trying to ignore him, so he coughed and sneezed loudly to try and abort attention towards him. "Hey, shut up! We're trying to listen to the show here!", yelled a guy.
"SORRY!", shouted Poor Man, "IT'S JUST THAT I MIGHT BE ALLERGIC TO ALL THIS GOLD!".
"Go into a ditch and stay there!", shouted a woman.
"Aw, thanks for worrying, but I already got a home", replied Poor Man, "Hey you! Zebra on the stage, here'a a tip!".
Poor Man then grabbed his wallet, and threw it at the chief, cutting his song short. The entire crowd gasped, and the chief just stood there. "You didn't", muttered the chief.
"I DID! WANT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT SISSY!", shouted Poor Man.
"Being in a show is not sissy, I enjoy it! I'm done Poor Man!", replied the chief.
"YEA! Ok, have fun prancing around the stage like a pretty little pixie", taunted Poor Man, "I'll take all this gold with me, which in second thought I shouldn't have converted into pennies".
Poor Man started to leave, but before he left, he threw a few pennies at the chief. That broke him, the chief pulled out his gun, and shot the limelight, making the opera pitch black. All the audience heard was some snapping, screaming, and the opening of the door. The director turned on the lights, but Poor Man, the chief, and the money was gone. "Where's my star!", cried the director.
The opera may never know.... because the chief was gone, and he never came back.
At the back lot of the theatre, Poor Man stood above the bushes, but he had a black eye, and he was in his underwear. "Don't ask", muttered Poor Man, "Or I just might tell you".
He then limped away, but on his back was a note, a note that said, "The Zebra Gangsters are Back - Chief".