"Ugh, that was a hard day at work", mumbled Poor Man, "Who can sleep on a polyester chair. Well, at least I can go and sleep on my leather couch".
So, without turning on the lights, Poor Man sat on the couch, just then everything came on. "SURPRISE! HAPPY 20 YEAR ANNIVERSARY!".
The Zebra Gangsters were sitting around with party hats and a big cake. "Ok, guys. Thanks, now leave before I call the cops".
"C'mon man, show some spirit", said the chief, "20 years ago, we were little zebras who couldn't even defend ourselves, and now we're top of the block!".
"Great, write a book, good bye", replied Poor Man as we walked away, but then came back, "This is my house".
"Well, it all started in the good old country of Tanzania, where I went to a school in the Serengeti".
"Oh goodie, a story", mumbled Poor Man.
So, I used to be a weak dork, just like you Poor Man. I used to wear big old glasses and all that, but the first day of school changed everything.
A young zebra was facing a big school in the middle of the Serengeti. "Dad, I'm not sure if I'm ready", said the little zebra.
"Well little Dominick, you're going to go to school and you're going to love it!", said the dad, "Now, go have fun".
So little Dominick walked into school. "That's strange, looks like I'm the only zebra here, maybe it's because...".
Just then something picked him up. "Yep, I was correct, AAAHHHHH!".
"Hey dork, you shouldn't be running here by yourself, you could get hurt", said the lion bully, "Prepare for a live example".
"Eh...", he wormed, "Please sir, I'll do anything!".
"Ok, do my homework".
"We're animals, we don't have any homework!", replied Dominick..
"Do my homework!".
"Uh... ok?", mumbled the Dominick.
So, the young zebra was having a rotten day, getting bullied by everybody, but the weird thing was that there was no other zebras around. Even at the zebra specific classes, he was the only one there. "Hello class", said the zebra specific teacher, "I am a zebra, and I will teach you how to cower and pee yourself when a lion comes and tries to rip you into shreds".
Just then that young zebra raised his hand. "Yes, Dominick".
"Hold up!", shouted Poor Man, "Let me keep track, your name is Dominick!?".
"Shut up! It was", replied the chief, "Now it's Chief, and if you call me that I'm going to punch you in the kisser. Now I'm going to finish my story".
"What do we do if they decide to eat us anyway?".
"If they decide to eat your own urine", replied Mr. Zebra, "Then you are doomed".
"But, isn't there any way of self defense?", asked Dominick, "I mean, the gods who roam around these lands have guns, we can ask them to borrow it and shoot their brains out!".
"Fool, those gods are vicious and unforgiving!", shouted Mr. Zebra, "If they see you they'll shoot at you and put you into a box, taking you to the underworld. Now Dominick, I'm going to teach you how to protect yourself and I do recommend you keep your mouth closed".
So, school finally ended, and after taking a nice long bath, Dominick went home, with a bunch of wildebeests yelling at him for contaminating their water source. "Son, how was your day?", asked the Dad.
"Crummy, I got bullied by a lion, I couldn't find ONE zebra to make friends with, and my Zebra Tech teacher drank 3 gallons of grape juice before he taught me!".
"Oh, Mr. Zebra, oh, I had him, he sucked", replied the Dad, "It looks as though they look at you as just a link in the food chain, little do they know is that if a link is gone then the entire chain breaks".
"What are you saying?".
"You're just as powerful as they are!", shouted the Dad, "Now, here's how I protected myself when I went to school, you find the other scaredy zebras, and team up with them, and you as a team show him who's boss".
"But the lion would be too vicious for just a few zebras".
"And one wildebeest is lunch meet to a hyena, but a whole bunch of them can punch them to the ground, like that cool scene from The Lion King that may or may not be out yet!".
"Or Kira the White Lion".
"Shush child", replied the dad, "You know what you got to do".
"Then I did the inevitable", explained the chief, "Now I'm going to go get a sandwich, be right back".
"C'mon, don't leave me hanging!", shouted Poor Man, "I'm peeing myself right now!".