"Ugh, that was a hard day at work", mumbled Poor Man, "Who can sleep on a polyester chair. Well, at least I can go and sleep on my leather couch".
So, without turning on the lights, Poor Man sat on the couch, just then everything came on. "SURPRISE! HAPPY 20 YEAR ANNIVERSARY!".
The Zebra Gangsters were sitting around with party hats and a big cake. "Ok, guys. Thanks, now leave before I call the cops".
"C'mon man, show some spirit", said the chief, "20 years ago, we were little zebras who couldn't even defend ourselves, and now we're top of the block!".
"Great, write a book, good bye", replied Poor Man as we walked away, but then came back, "This is my house".
"Well, it all started in the good old country of Tanzania, where I went to a school in the Serengeti".
"Oh goodie, a story", mumbled Poor Man.
So, I used to be a weak dork, just like you Poor Man. I used to wear big old glasses and all that, but the first day of school changed everything.
A young zebra was facing a big school in the middle of the Serengeti. "Dad, I'm not sure if I'm ready", said the little zebra.
"Well little Dominick, you're going to go to school and you're going to love it!", said the dad, "Now, go have fun".
So little Dominick walked into school. "That's strange, looks like I'm the only zebra here, maybe it's because...".
Just then something picked him up. "Yep, I was correct, AAAHHHHH!".
"Hey dork, you shouldn't be running here by yourself, you could get hurt", said the lion bully, "Prepare for a live example".
"Eh...", he wormed, "Please sir, I'll do anything!".
"Ok, do my homework".
"We're animals, we don't have any homework!", replied Dominick..
"Do my homework!".
"Uh... ok?", mumbled the Dominick.
So, the young zebra was having a rotten day, getting bullied by everybody, but the weird thing was that there was no other zebras around. Even at the zebra specific classes, he was the only one there. "Hello class", said the zebra specific teacher, "I am a zebra, and I will teach you how to cower and pee yourself when a lion comes and tries to rip you into shreds".
Just then that young zebra raised his hand. "Yes, Dominick".
"Hold up!", shouted Poor Man, "Let me keep track, your name is Dominick!?".
"Shut up! It was", replied the chief, "Now it's Chief, and if you call me that I'm going to punch you in the kisser. Now I'm going to finish my story".
"What do we do if they decide to eat us anyway?".
"If they decide to eat your own urine", replied Mr. Zebra, "Then you are doomed".
"But, isn't there any way of self defense?", asked Dominick, "I mean, the gods who roam around these lands have guns, we can ask them to borrow it and shoot their brains out!".
"Fool, those gods are vicious and unforgiving!", shouted Mr. Zebra, "If they see you they'll shoot at you and put you into a box, taking you to the underworld. Now Dominick, I'm going to teach you how to protect yourself and I do recommend you keep your mouth closed".
So, school finally ended, and after taking a nice long bath, Dominick went home, with a bunch of wildebeests yelling at him for contaminating their water source. "Son, how was your day?", asked the Dad.
"Crummy, I got bullied by a lion, I couldn't find ONE zebra to make friends with, and my Zebra Tech teacher drank 3 gallons of grape juice before he taught me!".
"Oh, Mr. Zebra, oh, I had him, he sucked", replied the Dad, "It looks as though they look at you as just a link in the food chain, little do they know is that if a link is gone then the entire chain breaks".
"What are you saying?".
"You're just as powerful as they are!", shouted the Dad, "Now, here's how I protected myself when I went to school, you find the other scaredy zebras, and team up with them, and you as a team show him who's boss".
"But the lion would be too vicious for just a few zebras".
"And one wildebeest is lunch meet to a hyena, but a whole bunch of them can punch them to the ground, like that cool scene from The Lion King that may or may not be out yet!".
"Or Kira the White Lion".
"Shush child", replied the dad, "You know what you got to do".
"Then I did the inevitable", explained the chief, "Now I'm going to go get a sandwich, be right back".
"C'mon, don't leave me hanging!", shouted Poor Man, "I'm peeing myself right now!".
Little Dominick knew what he had to do. So, he went to school, but instead of bringing his materials he filled his backpack with zebra nip. So, when he went to the zebra specific class and piled it out on the floor. "Hey, food!".
"Shut up! You don't want the outside to hear us!", shouted a voice.
"I can hear you crystal clear!", shouted Dominick.
"Oh... well, you didn't hear anything Lion nip!".
"Look, I know you're scared, we were all raised to be scared", explained Dominick, "But, do we have to be loners anymore. We can be more than just a link in the chain, we can be our own people, our own tribe. We need to stand up to ourselves and show them we can be our own people, now, come out from your shadows".
So, out of the cabinets, tables, curtains, corners, and everywhere possible a whole crowd of zebras climbed out. "Whoa, there are so many of you, now who wants to join me in the right of freedom".
It took a while, but out of the dozens of zebras a few walked out. A round one, a smart one, and a kind of psychotic one. "Good enough guys, welcome to the herd", said Dominick, "Here's the plan".
So, at recess, the Lion Bully was going around, harassing an elephant. "I'm sowwy Mr. Lion sir, I didn't mean to step on your foot sir, I thought you were a cockwoach!".
"Who you calling a cockroach!", shouted the Lion Bully, "You'll loose an ivory for that!".
"Hey, stop it! Pick on someone your own species!".
The Lion Bully looked to see a herd of zebras. "Oh, I'm going to wun away now without you noticing, bye bye!", shouted the elephant as he ran away.
"Oh, look who climbed out of the shadows", said the lion as he rubbed his claw around a zebra's neck, "I wonder how I'm going to do it, baked or raw".
"Do I pee myself now?", asked a zebra.
"No, we're tired of you putting us down, we're not scared of you anymore", stated Dominick.
"Actually, I'm kind of scared myself...".
"Most of us, most of us isn't scared of us anymore", corrected Dominick, "So lay off the meat".
The Lion Bully just laughed in their face. "Yea, I'm so going to kill you dorks".
The nerdy zebra started panicking. "TEACHER! TEACHER!".
"I'm a little busy right now!", shouted a voice coming from the lion's stomach, "Mr. Bully, I will have you suspended in four to six hours you hear me!".
"You can't do anything to us!", shouted Dominick, "I'm not scared, because I know the noise you hate".
He then started snapping. "Ow, how are you doing that!", cried the Lion, "You don't even have any hooves".
However, soon the Lion Bully put earplugs on. "Now, where was I, oh I know, PAIN!'.
"Guys, C'mon! I need help!", cried Dominick.
Then Clio, the psychotic one, started snapping. Then Doug, the chubby one, started snapping. The nerdy one, Isaac then joined in on the fun. And the snapping broke through the ear plugs. "AH! STOP IT! STOP IT! I GIVE UP!".
The Lion then got on the ground and started crying. "They're too cool! They're too bad! I want my mommy! I'm peeing myself!".
Then the zebras, still snapping, laughed. "Hear that, we're cool!", shouted Dominick.
"And we're bad!", shouted Isaac.
"And we want our mommy!", joined in Doug, "Wait...".
"Yea! We're cool! We're bad! We're cool! We're bad! We're top of the game!".
"And that was true, we definitely were", said the chief, "Good times. But, there's more to this story, we stuck together for years, all the way to high school. Now zebras were on top of the food chain, and is Clio ok?".
Clio was on the ground unconscious. "He might have overdid it with the chocolate milk", replied Poor man, "But there's still a lot more I want to know. How did you get here? How did you meet me? How did your name change! Tell me!".
"Ah, my favorite part of the story", said the chief, "Because now I get to talk about how awesome I am. I eventually lost the glasses, and we were the big boys".
"Hey nerd, give me you lunch money!", shouted an older Dominick.
"But we don't have any lunch money, we're animals", cried a smaller lion.
"Get out of my face!", Dominick shouted.
"Oh yea, it feels good to be kings of the Serengeti!", said Doug.
"Yea, but it isn't enough. We're only the top of an area that doesn't even have any live trees. We're going to be the top of Africa, we're going to challenge the gods".
"ARE YOU CRAZY DOMINICK!", shouted the Dad at home.
"Dad, I'm going to be the top of the food chain, and I'm going to do this".
"Son, look what you have become, I taught you for self defense, not so you can become a bully yourself!".
"What do you want me to do, go back to the dork who pees himself whether he sees his own shadow!?".
His dad then stood silent for a few seconds. "I liked that person better".
Dominick just stood there. "Look, do what you need to do Dominick".
"I'm not Dominick, I'm now Chief dad!".
"Do what you need to do son, I can't hold you back any longer".
His dad then left. Chief then sat in the bed, thinking about his life. "It's time".
He took his team to the border outside the Serengeti. "Nobody has ever left home and returned before", said Doug.
"I know, that'll make us gods", said the chief, "Now, you go first Doug".
"What! Why me!?".
"Because you're the least important of the bunch and we won't feel any regret if you don't return".
"Well, that's nice guys, feeling the love!", whined Doug as he crossed the line, "Hey! I'm alive!".
Clio then hopped across, and Isaac followed. "Take that dad", said Chief as he crossed the line.
"Good, now let's conquer the gods", lead the Chief.
"But what if they put us in the crate to the underworld?".
"C'mon, it's just a myth", assured Chief, "And I suppose Bill Clinton is the leader of this said Underworld, ha, fiddlesticks!".
"Hey, did that bush just move?", asked Isaac.
"I don't know, I don't look for moving bushes, but I know who does", said the Chief, "Clio, did you... MY GOD!".
He saw Clio on the ground with a dart in his butt. "This was a mistake! We need to get him back to the Serengeti!".
"Ok, fortunately I know a short...", said Isaac, but then he fell on the ground too.
"Well, boss it's just you and me", reasoned Doug, "So, yea, I think I deserve a promotion. I think I would make a great admin for the zebra gangsters, wouldn't that be... OW! That hurts a lot more than you thi-i-i-i-i-".
Doug then fell on the ground, sucking his thumb. Chief tried to run away, but the dart got him too.
"Wow, that was interesting, what happened next?", asked Poor Man.
"We woke up in an alien world. The Zoo of Little Town Georgia".
"That's where I grew up...", said Poor Man, "How did you get out of there?".
"We're Zebra Gangsters, of course we knew how to break out, because we're sneaky, we're stealthy, we're...".
"Boss, wasn't the door unlocked?", asked Doug.
"Thumb Sucker", replied the chief, "We were going around, scared of all these strange gods, back to the bottom of the food chain, starving, homeless, smelly, that was, till we came across some money".
The Chief and the gang pretty much gave up on their lives, so they got down in the front yard of a small house. But, then a young boy came in. "Oh no, it's the dwellings of the gods, cower and pee yourselves!", shouted the chief.
"Hey, house ornaments, I want to kick it", laughed the boy, but once he touched Clio, he got angry and kicked him in the shin, knocking him down.
"Wow, we defeated a god, he's such a loser!", laughed the chief, "We should go to him more often".
"Hey, check this out, he has lettuce in a box", said Isaac as he picked up the boy's wallet, "And a card that says, Student, Poor Man. His name must be Student!".
"Later we figured out money and came back to the head of the city, following you everywhere you go".
"Good story, don't let the door hit you on the way out, now I can get some sleep", explained Poor Man.
"Bye Poor Man, same time tomorrow", said the chief.
"Bye, Dominick", said Poor Man with a smile.
So, he sat on his chair, proud of himself, when the chief comes back. "I kept my word".
He then punched Poor Man in