(In the point of Poor Man). There was barely a wind in the sky, and barely a cloud in the sky. It seems like there's no color in the sky, which there isn't. I don't know, it's probably a detective thing. Anyway, the sky was still blue, or was it, I don't know, who is to tell? Ok, back on track, I sat on my chair, thinking. Thinking on what a mess humanity is. Maybe dogs, cats, horses, may look down on us, for they have a more organized community then we do. I guess we can all say we are still no different from how we were as nomads living in caves. And I just realized all this week. It all started in school, yea 28 years and I'm still in school, I'm an idiot. So, I was following the wave of people, not aware of the most horrible realization that's waiting for me.
Poor Man got knocked down by the stampede of kids. "Ow! Meanies!", shouted Poor Man, "Boy, they're pushy for high schoolers. Wow, I just realized I'm a 28 year old in high school. This is the most horrible realization I ever had!".
Just wait buddy.
"WHO SAID THAT!?", shouted Poor Man, "Hey look, a crowd. I think I'm going to dive into it again".
Poor Man got through the crowd to find the principle standing on a crate. "Hello, everybody listen up, we got complaints from parents saying that we don't challenge you people enough and because of that you guys are stuck living in a world of video games and texting", explained the principle, "So, to avoid losing money, we have a contest to test your minds".
Everybody then left except for Poor Man who was down on the ground again. "I'm so in pain", moaned Poor Man.
"Quick, before he gets up", whispered a teacher beside him.
"Ok, so, we're having a detective contest. Who ever can identify the infamous mystery meat of the Orange Academy cafeteria will win, uh, twenty five cents!".
"I got to have that money, you can count on me!", exclaimed Poor Man as he ran away.
"Can't say I didn't try", said the Principle, "Headmaster can't fire me now".
So, Poor Man got in a detective outfit and entered the cafeteria. Everybody stared at him as he walked by the hall. "Yea, I know, I look good in a big coat", gloated Poor Man.
He waited in line and confronted the lunch lady. "What do you want Man Poor".
"It's Poor Man, detective", corrected Poor Man.
"Ok Man Poor detective, I've been experimenting in the lab, would you like to try the new dish?".
Poor Man looked down, to see a moving lump of sauce and chocolate. "No thanks, I bought home lunch, anyway".
"No next!", shouted Poor Man, "You are not next, just stay and wait like a normal person!".
"Says the guy in a detective outfit pushing everyone out so he can get in front!", shouted a guy.
"Thank you, I love you too", replied Poor Man, "I'm going to make this simple, what's in the mystery meat?".
"The hundredth customer".
Poor Man scribbled something on his notebook. "No, don't write that!", shouted the lunch lady, "It's a secret. It's called mystery meat for a reason dumbbell, and you're still writing down what ever I say".
"No", answered Poor Man, "How do you spell dumbbell?".
"Ok, ok, I'm leaving", said Poor Man, "I know where you keep your recipe anyway".
"Wait, what?", asked the lunch lady, "GO AWAY MUNCHKINS! I'M CLOSED!".
The lunch lady then closed the desk. "Great, what are we going to eat now?", asked a student.
"Should've bought home lunch", replied Poor Man, "And I'm going to get out of here before you find something sharp to throw at me".
Poor Man then ran out of the cafeteria and looked at a side window. Luckily, the window was open. He saw the lunch lady pull a golden spatula, and a safe popped out from the ground. "Can't believe that idiot figured out where I hid the mystery meat recipe", mumbled the lunch lady, "Well, I better bury it in the pipe system".
"That's where she's going to relocate them", mumbled Poor Man, "And people call me dumb. Evil laugh. MWA HA HA HA HA! Ow, my tonsils, how does Chicken do it".
So, that night Poor Man dressed in black. "What are you doing?", asked Sharky.
"Sneaking in my school".
"Really? Usually you sneak out of school".
"Well, I need to figure out the recipe of the mystery meat so I can win twenty five cents".
"Ok, I guess you can buy a gum ball or a cheap toy from a dispenser", replied Sharky.
"You know no one likes you right?".
"I like him", cheered Elephant, "Justin Bieber gets too much hate you know".
"You know, as your guardian angel, I feel as though I should forbid it. You know, mortal danger and all of that smooth jazz", explained Sharky.
"Relax, its not a school night", assured Poor Man, "I only go every Tuesday. Oh, and Sundays".
"There's no school on Sunday".
"Exactly, bye bye now", said Poor Man as he jumped out of the window, "OW! That was stupid!".
"We got stairs for a reason!", shouted Sharky.
"Yes, they're for my slinky".
"No body likes you!", shouted Sharky.
"Do I look like Justin Bieber to you?".
Ok, so while Sharky and Elephant bicker like an old married couple (In a boxing ring) Poor Man snuck to school grounds, and broke open the walls with a shovel. "It's weird there's no one to guard the place".
So, Poor Man spent hours, diving through the pipes, filled with moss, dust, bugs, and some substance not supposed to be discovered by man yet. He broke pipes, looked inside them, crawled through the floor, all while the room was starting to flood. "Where's the recipe?", cried Poor Man, "I need to find it!".
Poor Man then grabbed the shovel and broke through the tile floor. "It's under the floor! I will find it!".
Poor Man broke up the whole floor, and even dug a few feet, but all he created was a dirty swimming pool. "THE WALLS!".
Poor Man broke open the walls, and finally found a bottle with a piece of paper inside". "I DID IT CHEREN, I HAVE THE FORMULA TO THE KRABBY PATTY!".
Poor Man popped the bottle open, and read the note. It said.
One Spoon full of Dirty Diapers
And a pinch of...
Dude, do you think I'm an idiot?
I knew a dumbbell (btw, that's how you spell it) like you couldn't figure out where I hid the recipe on his own.
And I knew you followed me to see where I would hide it.
I give you credit, that's not quite as dumb as your other ideas
Seriously, you got a D on lunch for a reason
Anyway, I hid this note in the sewer system, knowing you'd break in.
You tried to play dirty, so I decided to make you play dirty literally!
Yea, don't mess with the lunch lady
Or you dig in the curry!
Good thing you weren't looking for that recipe.
The Lunch Lady.
P.S. I hate you
"Well, why don't you kick me in the face!?".
Just then, a boot came flying out of the wall and knocked Poor Man to the ground. There was a note attatched to it, "That's the cherry on top".